LYRICS          see also -- Iota Eta Sigma   and  Mama Mia  web pages

*"filk" is a variant of "folk" used to refer to sf & f songs
The Asteroid Light
Casher's Quest
Cthulhu You're Breaking My Mind
Give My Regards to Orthanc
God Rest Ye Scary Great Old Ones
Innsmouth Lullaby
Mindmelder's Lament
Miskatonic Shadows
Omicron Ceti III
Smaug the Magic Dragon

                THE ASTEROID LIGHT
1. My father was a keeper of the asteroid light.
    He slept with a Martian one fine night.
    Out of the match came children three.
    Two were mutants and the other was me.

    Yo-ho-ho! The jets run free.
    O, for the life at the speed of c.

2.  When I was but a space cadet,
     They put me in charge of a proton jet.
      I cleaned the tubes and filled them with fuel
      And I picked my teeth with an old sliderule.

3.   One night as I was heading for the moon
      And asinging a well-known spaceman's tune,
      I heard a voice cry out of the void
      And there sat my mother on her asteroid.

4. "O what has become of my children three?"
    My mother then she asked of me.
    "One is on exhibit in a zoo on Venus
    And the other keeps a telepathic link between us."

5. The deuterons flashed in her hydrogen hair.
     I looked again and my ma wasn't there,
     But she telepathed angrily out of the night,
     "Then may God bless the keeper of the asteroid light!"

                                  CASHER'S QUEST
                                                 ttto "Star Drive"
                                       c  16000 by Spiek D'Vel'Nahr

 1. Casher's quest did not finish on the planet of Pontoppidan,
      Not on the cliffs of Hippy Dip, nor even Anderson,
      Not where he saved Perino's horse or the girl named Genevieve,
      Who owed all the gems, but dreamed of might-have-been,
      Where he got taught by D'Alma more than ever he cared to know
      About the way to happiness, about the Old Strong Way,
      Because he left the old, wise dog and the one he might have loved
      To run alone for the umpteen thousandth day.

2.   The killer's quest did not end on the planet of Henriada,
       Though coming through the twister, even getting to Beauregard,
        Where he tried to kill a turtle, who had lived nine centuries,
       For to do away with T'Ruth proved much too hard;
        He scared Go-captain John Jay Tree and mad Murray Maddigan
        And gave the gift to fiercely want to the Children of the Wind;
        He looked upon the wooden cross of the spacewitch Agatha
        And was reminded how horridly he'd sinned.

3. Then Casher followed after the robot, the rat and the Copt
     And so made it all the way back home instantaneously,
     Back to the sand planet, to Kaheer, the capital he'd fled,
      And from wicked Colonel Wedder set it free.
       Yet the quest was not ended in the place of the O'Neils.\,
        But beyond the deep, dry lake that lies beyond the Thirteen Nile,
        Beyond the Jwindz Jo and beyond the Kermasse Dorgueil,
        The place to be himself, on Mizzer all the while.

refers to Quest of the Three Worlds by Cordwainer Smith, the quest of Casher O'Neill of Mizzer, "the Sand Planet", via Pontoppidan, "the Gem Planet", and Henriada, "the Storm Planet" back to Mizzer and beyond
                                  ttto "Cecilia"

    Cthulhu, you're breaking my mind. My sanity's vanishing daily!
     O Cthulhu, I'm down on my knees.
     I'm begging you: "Please,
     Go away!
     Go away!"

1. I picked up this ancient book by some guy named Al-Haz'red,
    Read two chapters. Now it seems
     You're disturbing my days and you're haunting my dreams.

2. Half-awake in the early morn with my lover sleeping by my side,
     When I feel a nameless dread
     And I turn on the light and find you in my bed!

3. Hiding out in the afternoon in a room at Miskatonic U.
     Elder Signs from ceiling to floor
     And there's star-stones to block off the windows and door.

4. Consternation! You've found me again. I crawl in the closet and shiver.
     Consternation! You've found me again.
      I crawl in the closet and shiver.
refers to the Cthulhu mythos begun by H. P. Lovecraft

                      GIVE MY REGARDS TO ORTHANC
                                  ttto "Give My Regards to Broadway"
                                             9560 BC
Give my regards to Orthanc.
Remember me to Barad-dur.
Tell all the orcs from old Nan Curnir
That I'll be there for sure.
Whisper of how I'm yearning
To mingle with that Morgul throng.
Give my regards to Shelob's lair
And tell her I'll be there ere long.

refers to Orthanc, the tower of Isengard and Barad-dur the fortress of Sauron, Nan Curunirin the Isen River valley in the Misty Mts. where Isengard was located, Morgul ("black magic" in Sindarin), the giant spider Shelob whose lair was under the Ephel Death Mts. on the border of Mordor near Cirith Ungol ("Spider Pass"), The Lord of the Rings by J. R. R. Tolkien

                                  ttto "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen"

1. God rest ye scary Great Old Ones. Let everything dismay.
     Remember Great Cthulhu shall rise up from R'lyeh
     To kill us all with tentacles if we should go his way.

      O tidings of madness and woe, madness and woe,
      O tidings of madness and woe!

 2. In Yuggoth and Aldebaran the Great Old Ones left spawns,
     Imprisoned by the Elder Gods to wait for eons,
     E'er enticing their release by hapless humans.

3. An Arab wrote: "That is not dead which can eternal lie
     And with strange eons even death may die."
     The Great Old Ones will rule once more; them none will defy.
    refers to the Cthulhu mythos begun by H. P. Lovecraft
                               IN THE T. A. R. D. I. S.
                                  ttto "The Lion Sleeps Tonight"
1. In the TARDIS, the quiet TARDIS the Doctor sleeps tonight.
    He's set directions for London, England. Let's hope he gets them right.
     The TARDIS lands in a barren wasteland. The Doctor feels a turkey,
    'Cause he knows he must have missed that left at Albuquerque.

2. In the wasteland, the barren wasteland the Daleks fire shots.
    They're superbeings, designed to conquer, but look like pepperpots.
     Mutant monsters with machine bodies and superhuman brains,
     With gun and plunger, they've come to kill you and clean out all your drains.

3. The Daleks were once a race called Kaled, who had a Kaled senate,
     'Til one day when a coup was lead by Kaled Davros Kennet.
     Davros rebuilt the Kaleds right and threw out what was left,
     Turned them all into automatons; their consciences he jeffed.

4. The Daleks planned to subvert the Humans and rule all their affairs,
    'Til the Doctor outsmarts his foes with a plan involving stairs.
    The Daleks thwarted, the Doctor moves on, until they meet again,
     In the meantime the Doctor does much the same with Cybermen.

refers to the TARDIS (Time and Relative Dimensions in Space) machine in which the Doctor travels, his archenemies, the Daleks, their creator Davros, and the Cybermen, "Doctor Who" series

                                 INNSMOUTH LULLABY
     Where are you going, my little one, slmy one?
     Fish eyes and clammy skin, where have you gone?
Turn around and there's two. Turn around and there's four.
Turn around and -- my God! -- there's a few hundred more!
Turn around, turn around, turn around,
There's a monster lurking outside your door.

Where are you going, my little one, my slimy one?
Webbed feet and tentacles, look at you now!
Turn around and you're a young man.
Turn around and you're a frog.
Turn around and you're a batrachian striding off toward the bog.
Turn around, turn around, turn around,
Child of Dagon, wading off in the fog.

refers to the mutant descendants of Capt. Obed March of Innsmouth, Mass., The Lurker on the Threashold, "The Shadow over Innsmouth" by H. P. Lovecraft

                           MINDMELDER'S LAMENT
                                  to "Supercalifragilistic-expialidocious"
                                             c 2373 by Spiek D'Vel'Nahr

1. When I started thinking
    When I was just a tot,
    I learned to think of thinking
    And not to think of not.
    Many of the thoughts I've thought
    I think that I forgot,
    But there's a certain thought I've thought
    I think that I cannot:

     "I thought I thought I thought a thought,
     But only thought I did.
     That thought that I thought I thought
      Was not the one I did.
      That thought I thought was not the thought
      I thought I thought I did;
      'Twas a thought I never thought
      And yet I think I did!"

2. When I'm thinking I've thought that thought
     More than I think I ought,
     I try thinking no thought
     Rather than think that thought,
     But then that thought I overthink,
      I thought I would think not,
      Proves it's one I cannot not think
      And in my thoughts I've got:

                   MISKATONIC SHADOWS
                       ttto "Shenandoah"                             

    Miskatonic, we fear the shadows where the eldritch monsters loom.
    With trembling hands and hearts aflutter, we peer into the gloom.
     We enrolled as bright-eyed freshmen, little guessing of our doom.
     Now we shiver in the dungeons of  Miskatonic U.

refers to Miskatonic University, Arkham, Mass., specializing in "medieval metaphysics",The Outsider and Others, Beyond the Wall of Sleep by H. P. Lovecraft

               OMICRON CETI III
                ttto "Adelweiss"
               c 2373 by Spiek D'Vel'Nahr
Mr. Spock, Mr. Spock, you are my favorite E. T.,
Though I'd not call
You at omicron Ceti.
With Leila you'd swing.
It's so sad you lost her!
Still you loved
And were loved.
May you live long and prosper.
refers to ""This Side of Paradise" by Nathan Butler and D. C. Fontana in which Spock uncharacteristically laughs, swings from a tree and returns Leila Kalomi's love while under the influence of euphoria spores which make colonists survive Bertold rays but not really live.
                       ttto "The Drunken Sailor"
                           c 2373 by Spiek D'Vel'Nahr
1. What would you do with a hungry tribble? (3x)
     If you had a tribble?


2. What would you do with a dozen tribbles, (x3)
      If you had a dozen?

3. What would you do with a hundred tribbles, (x3)
      If you had a hundred?

4. What would you do with a thousand tribbles, (x3)
      If you had a thousand?

5. What would you do with ten thousand tribbles, (x3)
      If you had ten thousand?

6. What would you do with too many tribbles, (x3)
      If you had too many?

7. Beam them all to the Klingon spaceship. (x3)
     Bean them to the Klingons.

8. What did the Klingons do with tribbles? (x3)
     What'd they do with tribbles?

9. They fed the tribbles to the glommers. (x3)
     Or at least they tried to.

10. They hunted down and killed the tribbles. (x3)
       'Til there were no tribbles.

11. What would you do if there were no tribbles? (x3)
       Timetravel back and fetch one.

1-7 refer to "The Trouble with Tribbles" (Star Trek: The Original series) and 8-9 to "More Trouble, More Tribbles" (Star Trek: The Animated series) both by David Gerrold, and 10-11 to "Trials and Tribblations" (Star Trek: Deep Space Nine series) by Ira Steven Behr, Hans Beimer and Robert Hewitt Wolfe